| Personality | ||
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Thursday, 07 January 2010 15:13
Last updated on Thursday, 07 January 2010 17:46
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| Can You Find Love in Intercultural Marriage? |
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Malaysian popstar, Ruhil Amani (picture) is married to Jamie Wilson, a music producer from Australia. Married for over six years, Ruhil does not understand when people make a big fuss about her being married to someone who is not the same race of religion.
Ruhil tells Malaysian Digest that although Wilson and her came from a different cultures, she never let the differences be the barrier in their relationship.
"We came from two different cultures and religions, but we also work hard to get to know each other better," she said.
“It took me five years to realise that we are good to be together,” said the singer who famous with song entitles ‘Kawan’.
However, things are different for Siti Nazirah, whose case caught the attention of many Malaysians and reignited the debate about intercultural marriage in Malaysia.
Siti who married his Pakistani husband landed into problem when her husband decided to keep her one-year old son in Pakistan. The story hit the headline and even compelled the Minister of Women, Family and Community Development Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil to comment and offer her assistance to resolve her case.
Several years ago, there was a case involving a royalty who was accused of kidnapping his own children from his estranged wife. Back in 1996, there was also a case involving Ismail Arrifin, whose British wife, Aishah Jane took their child back to England. He then went to Britain and brought his son back to Malaysia. His case is yet to be settled and the kid probably has grown up by now and could decide where he wants to live.
Are these cases set an example of marriage gone wrong or they show the problems with intercultural marriage. Malaysians in general, are the product of intercultural marriages. If it is not not your parents, your grandparents or your great grandparents were married to someone from different cultures or religion. Even among Malays, there are those who comes from various ethnic groups, who practice distinctly different cultures.
According to Ruhil the differences in culture were never been a big problem in her marriage because Wilson has adopted well to local culture.
“In fact, Wilson loves spicy food so much. He also wears ‘kain pelekat’ at home,” she said.
From the legal point of view, our Constitution allows intercultural marriages. But if you decided to marry someone who is from different culture, you should also know your legal standing in the issue. Understanding of the related Laws with regards to intercultural marriage is as important as getting to know one another cultures.
Ruhil says marriage needs a lot of work and she did her "homework" well before she married Wilson. Wilson converted to Islam seven years ago and he did so not because to marry her but because he was interested in the religion.
“Wilson studies many religions but he decided that Islam suits him. I was never been the reason of him to convert,” said the 34 years-old singer who now has one kid with Wilson.
To make it work, Ruhil says not only each partner has to accept each other, the partner's families will have to accept them as well.
“Intercultural marriage is not a strange thing in my side of family because my grandfather was married to Chinese. As for Wilson, it was never a problem because they have so much respect in each others culture and religion,” she says, adding that Wilson understands Islam and is sensitives about the needs of its followers well before he converted into the religion.
“There was a time when I celebrated Christmas with his family and they had prepared a halal food for me,” she says.
Ruhil says good communication is very important in intercultural marriage.
“We always speak to each other to settle our issues. We never let an issue passes by without discussing it," she says.
For anyone who is planning of marrying a person from different cultures, Ruhil has this advise for them.
“I think love the most essential thing in life and if you think you have found your soul mate even if he is from different race and culture, you just have to go for it."
Procedures for Malaysians to Marry Foreigners
According to National Registration Department (JPN) website (www.jpn.gov.my) the procedures of Malaysian to marry foreigners is different compared to normal Malaysian marriages.
The foreigners need to stay in Malaysia at least seven days before making the application. After 21 days of the application, the ceremony is granted to be solemnized and the registrar will issue the marriage certificate. Within the 21 days period, applicant is allowed to travel in and out of the country until the date of the ceremony. The application will be expired after six months if no solemnization was held.
The applicants need to bring some document to JPN Office, Consul Office, or Malaysian Embassy to apply, which are:
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